What’s the opposite of shame?

I want control, don't we all, I know what makes me whole, but it means I lose complete control, lose my mind, lose my senses. I think Perls meant something else, he meant abandon my ego, and I say admire the ones that do. Be still, be silent, stop trying, just surrender until the ticker... Continue Reading →

From hospitals to mountains

First day of the grueling but spectacular trek to Everest Base Camp. The first time I booked this trip I relapsed on drugs just days prior to my departure. I overdosed and went to hospital. It was incredibly disappointing. Worst of all I lost all confidence in my ability to recover. Managing my black and... Continue Reading →

Walk with the wise

Walk with the wise and become wise, walk with fools and you fall. Fall so low a stone wall is all you'll know. Choose my friends wisely I did not do. Foolishly I did not believe in powerlessness either, not anymore, I want to have control don't we all, but you see I lost complete... Continue Reading →

Heart on my sleeve

I was out so far this time, feelings of deep blue I was harbouring, that's what I was trying to kill but then there was excitement and fear of being caught in a tide. It's so strange the beauty and pain, it tore my heart out again and again so why do I still feel... Continue Reading →

Prolong the Gap

What is meditation? "When the past thought has ceased, and the future thought has not yet risen, there is a gap, well prolong it, that is meditation," Sogyal Rinpoche explained. For today I think I'll stop trying and just surrender. Trying to clear my mind is like controlling the uncontrollable. Challenging my thoughts and beliefs... Continue Reading →

I Pushed Her Away

Baby I can help, what can I do? I really wanted her too, but I couldn't separate us from the pain, and then I made it hers. I thought I'd be better on my own, to indulge in the pain, let my heart wane. I couldn't admit I didn't want my heart to go to... Continue Reading →

Sit with Me and Listen

Earth has music for those who listen. But he's too busy, he keeps time then fears it running out. I taught him to pause for a moment, sit here with me and listen. -mk

Listen with Eyes and Heart

Connection allows healing but how do we connect to others? Advice, finding positives and normalising when someone shares something painful isn't always the best thing to do. Simply acknowledging someone's hardship can be more powerful than giving advice, and looking at the bright side early on can minimise their experience and drive disconnection. Positives and... Continue Reading →

On the Edge

I did my best, I opened the wound and pulled out the bloody mess. Now I find myself on the edge again grasping for air, and as earth falls into the void I can finally be still, relief is what I feel. I wish there was an insightful conclusion, a reason why. But maybe that's... Continue Reading →

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